Okey...I'm emotionally unstable today. I have no idea why. It's either I'm fed up with my thesis or I miss my family terribly. Just had a chat with my youngest sister. I'm worried of her. Too many problems with her life.......I gave her a very long advice. Something that I never did. It's just horrible. Her problem is driving me insane. As the eldest in the family, I think I have the right to be give advices to my sisters. Don't I? I didn't mean to pressure her more but I just can't help it when my mother started getting worried on her. So well, okey....I understand that it's not easy living somewhere far away from Malaysia where the culture is different and the people are just not the same. Maybe it was a big mistake for us to let her go and study there. But, if she was left here in Malaysia, things would be different...either in a good way or not. Sh|t! I admit that I have no idea on who my sister 'really' is. I don't know what she wanted in life. I don't know what she feel or how much hatred she has in her. She's a rebel...that's for sure. But maybe it was my fault that I never tried to understand her and I didn't really care what she did. And know, when something happens, I'm putting my blame on her. Urghh....I just hate being me. I know I'm not superwoman, not even the best sister in the world but I'm trying my best to do what is best for my family. I'm sorry sister....I don't mean to push u...I'm just doing what big sisters are suppose to do. I don't mean to hurt u. We love u very much....maybe we never say it by words but it's true......we care about u...we just want the best for u.......I love you sis, no matter who u are or what u did..........we're always be by ur side....and u can always trust on us when u needed a shoulder to cry on....

+posted by arkarnax @ 11:09 PM